As I sit to write the ways God has been working in my life I am overwhelmed with the various stories that come to mind. I have experienced a lot in the past few days all good but all filled with the emotions of joy, sadness, anger, and even frustration. We live in a broken world so I am not surprised to experience all these feelings in the middle of paradise. God has ordained each moment and each struggle to bring me closer to His heart beat that I may listen and walk to that beat.
The other night as all the students gathered in The Tin to continue the lecture on, Hearing Gods Voice, I really felt that God would have a word for me through the speaker, Christian. Christian said he had ten people he wanted to say a few words to that God had laid on his heart. I got excited but nervous too. I sat quietly hearing each name called and in my mind I kept counting how many studens he had already spoken to. Ten had come and gone without one word said to me. I was so disappointed and frustrated as I sat there. I quietly battled God and threw statements and questions at Him, why don't I hear you? Am I not worth even speaking to someone else about? I need an answer. I am sick of where I am at. God, am I not believing that you can speak to me? All these lies spun around with no answers so all I had left to do was break down. Tears filled my eyes and I quietly sat there with my face in my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder and Breanna (staff and amazing girl who's leading me on outreach to BANGLADESH) whispered in my ear, lets talk, I want to pray for you. We then got to share our hearts with eachother and she encouraged me with speaking truths over me. I know truth is what will set me free. (John 8:32) I went back to worship and I could not even sing and that is something that never happens to me. Bre laid her hands on my head and prayed that I would stop believing the lies embedded in the twists and turns of my mind. I am so thankful for bre and I know its going to be a process to break the lies but I am trusting it will all happen in His time. (Ecc 3:11) There is a glimpse of the way God is working here in my life. I have so many other stories but I would have to write a novel!
In my own quiet times I have also learned a lot. Proverbs 14:13 says, Even in laughter the heart may ache. I find that true in my life. For so long I have been known as "smiling amy" and "always happy" and what a blessing that has been but as the years have passed I have gotten a standard built in my head that that is all I can show to everyone around me. I have now realized that i have sacrificed my true happiness to make sure everyone else is okay and when asked if I am okay, i naturally reply good! great! everythings fine! And even though I love encouraging and helping people I never realized the hurts I kept writing off and ignoring in my own heart. Now I am dealing with them and its been a process expecially when I am so people oriented and want to run to whats familiar. Then I found Psalm 118:8; It is better to take refugein the Lord than to trust in man. i believe we can all learn from that. Who is more qualified then the God who created us uniquely and individually to comfort and restore us in every area. We must guard our heart and when its safe to share a piece of it God will allow it to happen with who He knows will protect it as well. He knows our deepest desires, now let go to let Him work.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Gods Sovereignty
The first week of lectures and school has barely started but I have learned so much already. God is so good!
We wake up each morning around 645 and we have breakfast at 7. I really don't mind waking up early at all, I love getting up! From 730 to 830 we have quiet times. It is an awesome feeling setting aside that time to really focus on my one on one time with God. At home it is so easy to get distracted by the numerous things that I am always doing. Schedules ruled my life at home but now it is so easy to sit and really relax in my surroundings with truly nothing else to be doing. God has a way of drawing near in the quietness. The serene atmosphere of the palm trees and birds singing is calming. In Mark 6:31 it states, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Our daily lives, even if we are immune to it, are filled with people, technology, and pressure. It is critical that each individual comes to the realization that true peace and quiet will only come from the Creator. He has personally invited each one of us to come to Him so He can renew us each day. How do so many people, me included, make excuses to busy ourselves with something "more important?" My challenge is to take a moment with your heavenly Father, I guarantee it won't be time wasted.
Last night was an amazing night full of truth and an absolute intervention from God in my life. Chris Johnson, our director of base staff spoke to us on Romans 12:1-2.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of Gods mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be trasnformed by the renewning of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing, and PERFECT will.
For so long I have tried and tried to fill my life with what I think will make me happy and clearly I have not succeeded but that is where God has met me in my brokeness. He has a way of gently showing me how to change little by little. I just have to have faith and trust that it is His perfect will for my life. God answers every prayer ever uttered and though it may not be the exact answer we want it is in our best interest every time.
Following the message, Chris encouraged us to really pray and seek out our passions and dreams to find our destiny. I am so excited that within the first day we are already seeking His face to pursue His purpose for our lives. That is exactly why I am here. We sat and prayed and while we did that the staff washed each of our feet and 2 of the staff prayed for each individual. I could not believe the words coming out of Kailynne's mouth while she prayed over my life. Everything was as if she knew me for years. She quoted Galatians 5 which speaks of freedom from bondage and all that holds people back and the ways God will use me in the future. When she closed she said to hold on one second and she ran to get her Bible. She opened up to Ephesians 3:16 which says, "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being" How powerful is that!? God has shown His soverienty with each prayer and verse read to me lastnight. I was in shock. I then got to spend time with another member of the staff Katie. There again, truth was poured into my heart. I could go on and on with the ways God is moving but there is a glimpse of my experiences here on the FIRST day.
The Lord is good and He can move in big ways no matter where we are. Take advantage of knowing the God of the Universe. He is there with you as much as He is here with me.
Love you all.
We wake up each morning around 645 and we have breakfast at 7. I really don't mind waking up early at all, I love getting up! From 730 to 830 we have quiet times. It is an awesome feeling setting aside that time to really focus on my one on one time with God. At home it is so easy to get distracted by the numerous things that I am always doing. Schedules ruled my life at home but now it is so easy to sit and really relax in my surroundings with truly nothing else to be doing. God has a way of drawing near in the quietness. The serene atmosphere of the palm trees and birds singing is calming. In Mark 6:31 it states, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Our daily lives, even if we are immune to it, are filled with people, technology, and pressure. It is critical that each individual comes to the realization that true peace and quiet will only come from the Creator. He has personally invited each one of us to come to Him so He can renew us each day. How do so many people, me included, make excuses to busy ourselves with something "more important?" My challenge is to take a moment with your heavenly Father, I guarantee it won't be time wasted.
Last night was an amazing night full of truth and an absolute intervention from God in my life. Chris Johnson, our director of base staff spoke to us on Romans 12:1-2.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of Gods mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be trasnformed by the renewning of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing, and PERFECT will.
For so long I have tried and tried to fill my life with what I think will make me happy and clearly I have not succeeded but that is where God has met me in my brokeness. He has a way of gently showing me how to change little by little. I just have to have faith and trust that it is His perfect will for my life. God answers every prayer ever uttered and though it may not be the exact answer we want it is in our best interest every time.
Following the message, Chris encouraged us to really pray and seek out our passions and dreams to find our destiny. I am so excited that within the first day we are already seeking His face to pursue His purpose for our lives. That is exactly why I am here. We sat and prayed and while we did that the staff washed each of our feet and 2 of the staff prayed for each individual. I could not believe the words coming out of Kailynne's mouth while she prayed over my life. Everything was as if she knew me for years. She quoted Galatians 5 which speaks of freedom from bondage and all that holds people back and the ways God will use me in the future. When she closed she said to hold on one second and she ran to get her Bible. She opened up to Ephesians 3:16 which says, "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being" How powerful is that!? God has shown His soverienty with each prayer and verse read to me lastnight. I was in shock. I then got to spend time with another member of the staff Katie. There again, truth was poured into my heart. I could go on and on with the ways God is moving but there is a glimpse of my experiences here on the FIRST day.
The Lord is good and He can move in big ways no matter where we are. Take advantage of knowing the God of the Universe. He is there with you as much as He is here with me.
Love you all.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
A new beginning in Honolulu
Wow, where to even begin!
I have arrived on the beautiful island of Oahu! The first couple days have been filled with meeting new people, getting used to the base, and soaking up the fact that I actually get to strengthen my walk with God in such an amazing place. How blessed am I?!
First off, there are 36 students here doing DTS. (discipleship training school) I can not believe how many different countries are represented here in this small school. People have come from Canada, Brazil, Sweden, Switzerland, Netherlands, Norway, Austraila, Korea, New Zealand, and of course the United States. All of them have so much to offer and I am looking forward to getting to know each of them better.
We started off Friday with ALOHA day. We met that morning in the TIN (our outdoor meeting area where all lectures will take place) and had a time of worship. It was definitely amazing. The singing was beautiful and at one point there were voices singing all different parts of the song at the same time and though it may sound chaotic it was so pretty. The first thought that came to mind was heaven, it will be filled with praises to our King. After worship we got to hear the guidelines of the base and got to meet the staff. All of them have also done a DTS and are giving their time to staff in order to help other young adults make a difference in the kingdom. Following those events we headed to the beach for a bbq! It was a nice day but definitely cloudy. We played some volleyball, (woowoo) soccer, ultimate frisbee, and football. Soon after that it started POURING rain! We had to pack up everything and head back to the base to eat our hamburgers and hotdogs. It was a nice day.
Today we had the opportunity to share our testimonies and what I learned from that was, we are all broken and are at different points in our life searching for the one and only thing that will rescue us, our Savior. It definitely bonded us all. With a little glimpse into each of our lives, I got to see the ways God works with bringing people to YWAM. Its amazing to me how he orchestrated this specific group for a specific purpose. As much as we think we have control of our own lives, God has every detail worked out, big or small. I can't wait to see how He will work in my life. I have loved the start of this journey and will keep everyone updated with what I learn.
I have arrived on the beautiful island of Oahu! The first couple days have been filled with meeting new people, getting used to the base, and soaking up the fact that I actually get to strengthen my walk with God in such an amazing place. How blessed am I?!
First off, there are 36 students here doing DTS. (discipleship training school) I can not believe how many different countries are represented here in this small school. People have come from Canada, Brazil, Sweden, Switzerland, Netherlands, Norway, Austraila, Korea, New Zealand, and of course the United States. All of them have so much to offer and I am looking forward to getting to know each of them better.
We started off Friday with ALOHA day. We met that morning in the TIN (our outdoor meeting area where all lectures will take place) and had a time of worship. It was definitely amazing. The singing was beautiful and at one point there were voices singing all different parts of the song at the same time and though it may sound chaotic it was so pretty. The first thought that came to mind was heaven, it will be filled with praises to our King. After worship we got to hear the guidelines of the base and got to meet the staff. All of them have also done a DTS and are giving their time to staff in order to help other young adults make a difference in the kingdom. Following those events we headed to the beach for a bbq! It was a nice day but definitely cloudy. We played some volleyball, (woowoo) soccer, ultimate frisbee, and football. Soon after that it started POURING rain! We had to pack up everything and head back to the base to eat our hamburgers and hotdogs. It was a nice day.
Today we had the opportunity to share our testimonies and what I learned from that was, we are all broken and are at different points in our life searching for the one and only thing that will rescue us, our Savior. It definitely bonded us all. With a little glimpse into each of our lives, I got to see the ways God works with bringing people to YWAM. Its amazing to me how he orchestrated this specific group for a specific purpose. As much as we think we have control of our own lives, God has every detail worked out, big or small. I can't wait to see how He will work in my life. I have loved the start of this journey and will keep everyone updated with what I learn.
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